What To Expect From A First Time Private Booking: A Step By Step Guide

If you’re reading this you’ve already taken the first step of being curious and open - congratulations! Booking a sex worker can feel daunting - I know my first time made me nervous despite being a worker myself. I’m here to break down the step by step of what to do, what to expect and how to be a good client. This guide will be most helpful if you’ve already chosen a sex worker you’d like to see and are working out the next steps. I’ll explain sex worker red and green flags in another blog post if you’re in the working out who to choose stage :D

As an autistic person myself, lack of clarity in the specifics of how to do something new can really deter me from taking on a service - I had to grill my friends for information on how different types of nails at nail salons work and what to ask for before my first time as I wanted the information in advance so as not to be stressed and put on the spot if I was offered too many options. So I hope this guide helps someone else out there because we all deserve non-judgemental help and support, especially for something as intimate and special as booking a sex worker.

Step One - Sending Through An Enquiry

The most important section here is to read through all of the worker’s details on how to contact them thoroughly. Many will be text only, no calls. Some are email only. Many also have templates on how to contact them. 

“Hi” “Hey” “Are you available” are ignored by most workers as they imply a level of disrespect toward the worker which is likely to be a timewaster or rude client.

An example of my template from Ivy Societe:

“Hello Kiki Shimano, my name is (NAME). I saw your profile on Ivy Societe and would like to book you on (DATE) for (LENGTH) for (SERVICES) as an (IN/OUTCALL) Please let me know if you are available. Thank you.”

A fear I’ve heard some clients have is that they don’t want to disclose too much about what sexual services they’re after in case the profile is a scam/wrong number etc. While all larger directories such as Ivy Societe & Scarlet Blue require ID verification from workers to prevent scams, I understand that scams can still be a threat. To negate this, it’s best to avoid asking for more photos of the escort to prove their identity as the assumption will be that you’re trying to get more photos for free. “Hi, I just wanted to check if this was the correct phone number for Kiki Shimano before I proceed” will serve you much better. 

If you do use the template, make sure you fill all bracketed sections to the best of your ability and ask questions for any unanswered sections: e.g. “I’m unsure if I’d prefer an in or outcall, where is your incall location?”

Escorts are humans with their own complex lives who aren’t constantly working and responding to messages so it’s best to give a minimum of 24 hours notice to make a booking, ideally as much notice as you can give. Even if a worker can see you in an hour's time, they’re likely suddenly changing the course of their day to see you and won’t have as much time to prepare a nice outfit to see you or have as settled an energy when they see you. If you’re looking to book immediately, those with “available now” switched on or going into an establishment such as a massage shop, brothel or BDSM dungeon is your best bet.

Step Two - Discussing The Booking 

As a generally several hundred dollar minimum booking, of course there will be some things you want to discuss. It’s important to make sure you feel confident and comfortable enough to book a session whilst also respecting the worker’s time. 

Questions and discussion about the booking are fine but limit it to a few messages before self reflecting on if the worker seems right for you. Too many messages before confirming the booking, completing any screening and sending deposit and it will be assumed that you’re a timewaster looking to chat to an escort for free. From a worker’s perspective, I want my client to be confident that I’m the right person to book so if they start asking too many specific questions, particularly sexually - “Do you actually squirt a lot though?”, my assumption will be that they likely have inhuman standards for me to be able to fulfil all of their sexual fantasies perfectly so I tend to write back “Hey there, I don’t believe you’ll be the right fit for me as a client, all the best for you on your search”

That being said, if a worker feels cold, uncaring or short with you, it’s okay to decide not to continue booking them. An escort having a high hourly rate doesn’t excuse treating clients inhumanely and there will always be other options for people to book who will treat you right. 

By the time your booking is confirmed, you should know your booking location - if it’s an incall expect further directions on how to quickly access it to be sent either in the hours before the booking on the day or earlier.

Step Three - What to Expect During The Booking

Each escort may differ in preferences and will state any specifics in their advertising or messaging but here’s what you can expect from me:

1 - A few hours before the booking I’ll confirm the time and location once more and send through photos and details on where to meet me in the hotel. I’ll ask for a photo of what you’re wearing so I can identify you immediately

2 - If we meet at the lift lobby I’ll dress down to a more casual look, greet you when I see you but minimise chat until we are in the room for your discretion’s sake

3 - Once in the room I’ll greet you properly, usually with a hug if consented to and I’ll discuss the flow of the session I was envisioning and if you’d like to make any alterations 

4 - Cash is received and you’ll go to shower. If you’d like to tip you can include it with the booking money or leave it for the end, it’s up to you and always appreciated regardless. If you’d like to bring a gift, again it’s absolutely not necessary but always appreciated - many industry folks have wishlists but honestly a bouquet of flowers is almost always a safe bet and a deeply appreciated choice

5 - While you shower I’ll dress down. You’re welcome to come out already unclothed, semi-unclothed or in just a towel - whatever makes you most comfortable

6 - I’ll reiterate any safe words, communication methods and aftercare for a FemDom booking and encourage you to let me know if you would like more or less of anything for a GFE booking before initiating the massage, make out, striptease or whatever suits the vibe of the session we’ve designed together.

7 - If you want to extend the booking instead, you’re welcome to mention this at any point, the earlier you mention it into realising you would like the extend, generally the better as it allows me to better time plan the pace of the remaining booking.

Step Four - After Play Time

After play time and any aftercare, I’ll start cleaning the room up to ensure you don’t miss any belongings while you take a shower. After showering and checking in on how you feel, I’ll see you to the door for a likely blissed out journey home ;)

Generally the next day I’ll check in with you, I always do if we’ve had a kink session to reduce any impacts of sub-drop that may occur with time. 

Sub-drop is the emotional comedown from a BDSM session that can often cause negative feelings that often benefit from a check back in with the dom.

My clients are welcome and encouraged to message me any length of time after the booking with any reflections. This is a lovely point at which to offer to write a testimonial if you would like to take your gratitude a step further.